Lost in the Shadows
by Stardrops
Summary: After losing everything in the tragedy of the summer, Draco cannot look back. But when he starts to doubt everything he's ever believed in, who will help him look forward?
1. Hiding the Truth

Title: Lost in the Shadows Author: Stardrops Rating: G Genre: Angst/Romance Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Duh. And I should probably add that in a later chapter, the idea for the constellations and star spotting was borrowed from some of "Rigella" 's writing, which everyone should check out.  
  
Chapter One: Hiding the Truth  
  
The dark and quiet of night was so relaxing. Up on the top of the tallest Astronomy Tower, Draco leaned against a wall. The cool night breeze ruffled his silvery blonde hair lightly, and as his eyelids closed, two beautiful grey eyes filled with emotion were hidden. Pale moonlight illuminated the tower and gave the castle a mystical appearance.  
  
This was one of Draco's favourite places to be. He'd been fascinated by the bright lights of the universe for as long as he could remember. It was like an escape from reality, and his home away from the world. Being in solitude with the stars and planets for company was the one place he could go when the pain became too much for him to bear. When he was forced to remember...  
  
Shaking his head, he tried to clear his thoughts and just enjoy the serenity of the quiet night. For one night, he would like to forget what he'd witnessed and just be normal again. He looked down at his left forearm. That was where his father was going to brand him on his seventeenth birthday, when he became of age. The place where he would wear the Dark Mark.  
  
For so long, everyone at Hogwarts and in the wizarding world had expected him to grow up to be a Death Eater like his father. For sixteen years, it had been his expectation also. But after the events of the summer, everything had changed. There was doubt in his mind about everything he'd ever believed in. Including himself. He doubted his opinions, his beliefs, and most of all, he doubted his future.  
  
It was so painful to think about going on.  
  
As the night enveloped him, visions and memories of the summer played through his mind. Pent-up emotion burst from deep inside through a soft cry that only Draco could hear. Falling to his knees, he clutched both hands to his head. The images flashed through his head, bringing unshed tears to his eyes. It was the vision of the body lying on the floor of the Malfoy Manor that brought a cry of anguish from Draco's lips into the silent night. The memory of a cold, sinister laugh breaking the cold quiet of the house Draco had once called home that now brought a chill to his heart.  
  
Would he ever call it home again? Would he ever return to the place where he no longer could bear to reside, with the knowledge that he stood in the abode where such a cruel, cold-blooded slaughter had taken place?  
  
Would he ever be able to look his father in the eyes and call him 'dad' ever again?  
  
The hurt bottled up inside threatened to break loose, but Draco held it back. Even though there was no one here, he would not lower himself to the standard of a normal person. He would hold himself higher. Stronger. And never let anyone ever see him crying. Especially not now.  
  
A single owl swooped through the darkness, breaking through Draco's thoughts. The golden brown wings of the bird were outstretched, and Draco smiled wistfully to himself as he imagined his own spirit in the body of a bird. The freedom. The wonder. The ability to fly away and hide with no worry for his safety from an evil wizard.  
  
The life he'd never have.  
  
With this thought, Draco rose from the floor, rubbing his temple where a slight ache was now irritating him. The chain around his neck glittered as he held the pendant close to his heart. The one remaining memory he had left of before the summer. Everything else in his mind was tainted with a black shadow now. The shadow that crept out in his dreams, reminding him of everything he wanted to forget but knew he never would.  
  
A gentle, cold rush of air swept over him, bringing him back to reality. His watch read three o'clock. He knew that if he did not sleep, he would regret it the next morning. And so he lay on the floor of the Tower, not caring that if he was caught he would lose points for his house, not caring about getting a hundred detentions. The only thing he really cared about was gone, with nothing left but a necklace. A simple chain of gold with a star-shaped pendant was all that remained. Before he settled for the night, he held the pendant up to the moonlight and watched the stardust glitter lightly.  
  
A familiar wave of cold clenched his heart and he dropped the necklace quickly so it dangled out of sight, around his neck. He would not cry. He would never give them that satisfaction.  
  
Alone in the tower was one place he could try to wrench himself out of this miserable dream and back into reality. With all his might, he closed his eyes and clenched his fists. This year at school would not be ruined by those visions.  
  
He would not let himself dwell on the events of the horrific summer. He knew he'd never forget, and he'd never let himself forget. He had to honour the memory. But he would not dwell on it.  
  
And with that thought Draco closed his eyes and was shut off from the world in a troubled land of dreams and sleep.  
  
* * *  
  
The golden sunrise dawned over the castle grounds. Reflections shimmered in the lake's surface, giving a diamond effect to the dewy summer's morning.  
  
A gentle ray of sunlight hit Draco's eyes, rousing him from his uneasy slumber. Rubbing the back of his hand roughly across his eyes, he watched the sun illuminate the morning.  
  
Wrapping his cloak around his shoulders, he descended the stairs of the tower as soundlessly as he could. Such an early start ensured him that no one would catch him roaming the out-of-bounds area of the school.  
  
As he walked, he tucked the necklace down the front of his robes. He hadn't bothered to change since their arrival at the school the night before. The Sorting Ceremony was to take place at breakfast that morning because some of the new students had not yet arrived. Draco always assumed that every student caught the Hogwarts Express and therefore did not understand how they could not have arrived yet, but was not interested enough to pursue the matter further in his thoughts.  
  
As he had presumed, the lack of sleep was even now threatening to consume him. He'd slept only three hours, and knew today, as the first day of school, would include lots of speeches about their N.E.W.T.'s and the seventh year workload. All the lectures were likely to bore him nearly to sleep.  
  
He'd already received the lecture from his father at the beginning of the summer...that had been before the murder. Draco flinched as the thoughts came rushing back. Great. So far, since that awful night, he had not gone one single day without thinking about it. In fact, he'd had trouble going for about an hour without it popping into his head at least once.  
  
Slipping unnoticed into the boy's dormitory, he crept to his bed and covered himself with the sheets. No one need ever know that he had been missing the night before.  
  
Lying there for an hour, Draco found sleep desperately trying to overcome him but would not let it. He knew the other boys would be waking any moment, and if they did, he had to act normally, so no one realized that this year, he was not who he used to be.  
  
Draco breathed deeply and let his breath come rushing out in a sigh. Who was he? Doubting his past was easy because he now mostly knew what were lies and what weren't. Doubting the present was harder because with the past being so shrouded in lies, the present was harder to decipher. But by far, the hardest was having to doubt his future.  
  
He no longer wanted what he'd spent his life waiting for. The Dark Mark, to be forever in the service of one of the greatest wizards of all time, to be following his fathers footsteps. He didn't want any of that anymore.  
  
He wanted something he couldn't have. He wanted to go back in time and erase the summer. He wanted to change it so the events never came to pass. And most of all, he wanted just once more to see the face he'd learnt by heart. The smiles, the laughing, the crying, the innocence...He wanted to see that wonderful face bring it all back.  
  
And it could never happen.  
  
* * *  
  
The Great Hall was starting to fill with students as Draco entered, flagged by Crabbe and Goyle. He'd been right, no one had noticed him not being there the night before. Draco was surprised to find that it hurt, knowing that no one cared enough to notice when he was gone. However, he also felt slightly glad he didn't have to explain where he was or why he'd gone...It would bring back too much over again.  
  
Taking his usual seat in the Hall, he stared at the empty plate before him, not willing to look around at his fellow students. Did anyone know what had happened? Did anyone know what Voldemort had done over the summer? Draco doubted it. Unless Dumbledore knew. Dumbledore always knew when something had happened. It was one of many unnerving things about the man is that he always seemed to be informed of everything.  
  
A loud clinking of metal against glass stirred Draco. He was grateful for the interruption as he didn't much feel like staying within his thoughts much longer and was eager for a distraction.  
  
Dumbledore had made his usual speech the night before at the feast, which meant they were spared the prospect of having to listen to another one. As silence fell across the hall, the doors opened and two long lines of students entered. Led by Professor Snape, Draco observed the majority of young students. They all seemed so tiny and frightened. At the end of the two lines were three other students who were taller and appeared to be older, two girls and one boy.  
  
The line quickly dispersed as the students were placed in their houses by the hat. Draco's attention wavered and the Sorting blurred until it came to the older students.  
  
The boy was called out first. Running a had nervously through his light brown hair, he sat on the stool and clenched his fists as the hat was placed upon his head. Draco rolled his eyes. He watched as the boy was placed in Hufflepuff, and then his eyes were directed to the next girl in line. Her name was called out.  
  
"Winters, Delphine."  
  
The girl walked forward to sit on the chair. Draco couldn't help but think she looked strangely familiar. She had long, straight blonde hair and a slim but attractive figure. Draco caught a glimpse of clear brown eyes staring out at the hall before the hat fell over her head, covering her face.  
  
Crabbe nudged him. "Hey, what a hottie! You reckon?"  
  
Draco was pulled back down to earth. "I guess." Crabbe turned to ask Goyle the same question. Draco watched as the hat seemed to think to itself for ages. He was wondering if the hat was actually ever going to say anything when it suddenly hollered, "Gryffindor!"  
  
Draco closed his eyes briefly. The Gryffindor table. Of course.  
  
He watched the other girl, a brunette, get Sorted. She was sent to their table. Draco reached forward with everyone else to clap her and shake her hand. But he still couldn't help stealing another look at the blonde who was now happily seated next to Hermione Granger.  
  
He shook his head. Something about that girl was uncannily familiar.  
  
"Hey, what's that on your hand, Drake?" asked Goyle thickly, having just taken a huge bite of bacon.  
  
Draco looked down at the scar on the back of his left hand. It was a mark from the summer when he'd tried to stop the murder. He'd lunged for his father and the spell had missed, but grazed the back of his hand. He'd have it forever as a memory of that night.  
  
He looked up at Goyle and shrugged carelessly. "Just a burn from the holidays."  
  
Obviously that was good enough for Goyle because he nodded and grabbed three more pieces of toast to add to the enormous pile of food already on his plate.  
  
"Hey, mate, you gonna eat?" asked Crabbe, looking concernedly at Draco's untouched plate.  
  
Draco looked at the plates piled high with food and swallowed. He'd hardly eaten since that night in the summer. And yet he found that he still was not hungry.  
  
He forced a grin and said, "Yeah, but I pigged out last night, remember?" Of course they wouldn't know that he'd not eaten a thing last night. They'd been so hungry that they hadn't noticed when he'd left the table in the middle of the Feast to find solitude.  
  
He grabbed a piece of toast and said, "Going for a walk. See you in Herbology." Crabbe and Goyle hardly acknowledged him as he left the hall again.  
  
Draco looked back over his shoulder as he slipped out through the Entrance Hall. Sitting on the High Table in the middle with all the other teachers was Dumbledore. And the old man was looking directly at Draco.  
  
Draco knew at once that somehow the wizard knew what had happened. And he felt an unexplainable surge of warmth spread through his heart when Dumbledore reached for his goblet of orange juice and raised it towards him in a single toast.  
  
He left the hall. But even as the quiet peace of the grounds relaxed his soul, he could not help feeling just a little bit glad that he was there, with Dumbledore, instead of at home with his father and Voldemort.  
  
At least here, he was safe.  
  
For now.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
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	2. Remembering the Summer

Title: Lost in the Shadows Author: Stardrops Rating: G Genre: Angst/Romance Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Duh. And I should probably add that in a later chapter, the idea for the constellations and star spotting was borrowed from some of "Rigella"'s writing, which everyone should check out.  
  
Chapter Two: Remembering the Summer  
  
Once more, it was midnight, and Draco was in the Hogwarts gardens alone. The day had seemed to drag by in slow motion, as if time was playing with his heart. Classes blurred into one another and breaks smeared into a haze. He could not remember a single thing he'd learnt in classes that day, and did not much care either.  
  
The thought that had occupied his mind for most of the day was the girl he'd seen. Why did she look so familiar? He was sure he'd never seen her before, and she spoke with a strange accent, so he was certain that meant she had recently moved from overseas.  
  
But there was something in her appearance, her walk, and her voice that reminded him of someone. He did not have a clue who she was, but every time he saw her, his heart sort of sank a little.  
  
As soon as everyone else had left for dinner, Draco had disappeared into the grounds alone, hiding from everyone. Crabbe and Goyle had not seemed to notice he'd been missing, and although it still irked him to know that they didn't really care, he did find it comforting to know he didn't have to worry about people searching for him; in case they found him.  
  
He did not want to be found.  
  
He wanted to stay here in the dark where no one could see him, and he wanted to be alone.  
  
Draco held the necklace in his hand again. Undoing the clasp, he held it out in front of him. He could barely make it out, as the clouds covered the moon, making the night darker than before.  
  
As his fingers closed around the cool gold metal, the visions began again. This time he did not try to stop them.  
  
Draco was sitting in a garden. It was not his own garden; it belonged to his best friend, Perseus Summers. They'd been best friends since they'd met in the first grade. Being both pureblood wizards, they'd gotten along very well.  
  
He was ten years old, and Perseus had gone inside the house to get something. Draco looked around while he waited. He loved Perseus's garden. It was always flowering, no matter what season, and since it was huge and covered with trees and shrubbery gardens, it was perfect for playing games.  
  
Perseus walked back over to Draco carrying something shiny and gold in his hand. He held an opened palm out to Draco, and Draco picked up a beautiful gold necklace from it. The star pendant on the end shimmered as though it was covered in glitter. Perseus held another in his hand, which he clasped around his own neck.  
  
"These are memory necklaces," Perseus explained to Draco. "Since we won't always be together with us going to different schools, these will always be a reminder of each other. And as long as we each have one, we'll always be best friends."  
  
Draco smiled and hung it from his neck. The pair of them sparkled in the sunlight.  
  
Perseus raised his gaze to Draco's face. "We'll always be best friends, won't we Draco?"  
  
He reached out to Perseus and the two boys hugged. "Of course we will."  
  
Draco closed his eyes as tears once more rose. They'd only been young, but had already promised each other everlasting friendship.  
  
He'd always worn the necklace, but had hidden it from public view. Perseus always wore his as well, and when they saw each other, it was a mark of them honouring each other that they bore them.  
  
Draco remembered the funeral, the saddest moment of the holidays.  
  
A small crowd of people sat with tissues, blotting their cheeks and noses. Draco himself sat at the back of the outdoors ceremony. A wizard priest dressed in white stood at the front of the congregation. Draco was not even attempting to listen to the words being spoken. All he could do was look at the shining black coffin beside the priest.  
  
As the ceremony neared the end, the priest announced that a family member would sing a song to honour the deceased while the pallbearers carried the coffin out.  
  
A girl got up on the podium and as the music started; her voice was heard prettily ringing out across the graveyard. Draco however was not watching her. He had risen and was on of six boys and men carrying the coffin down the aisle. They placed the coffin on the ground and the priest cast a spell to make the coffin hover above the hole in the ground where it was to be lowered.  
  
Rose petals were handed around to the mourners, and as each person stepped forward to place the petals on the coffin, tears were shed, women crying and sobbing onto each other's shoulders.  
  
Draco stood alone and aloof until everyone else had left except one other person who had their back to him. It was a girl, wearing a pair of black pants with a black top that clung to her thin and frail-looking body. She was standing at the coffin and seemed to be talking down to the earth. Her hair was hidden beneath a black cap with a little black veil that covered her face.  
  
Draco himself was dressed in black out of respect, but the necklace was hung from his neck still, and glimmered in the sun. He grasped the handle of the basket containing his rose petals and waited patiently for the girl to finish paying her respects.  
  
He'd not long to wait. She threw a few handfuls of petals into the ground and then blew a kiss into the coffin before turning slightly, wrapping her arms around her too thin body and walking past the headstone, disappearing into the distance.  
  
Draco watched her leave and wondered who she was. She was the one who'd sung, but they hadn't said how she'd known Perseus. He didn't know Perseus's family, but he knew there wasn't a girlfriend, and that his mother lived overseas a long way away, and Perseus hadn't seen her in years. He'd never talked about his family and always brushed off any questions with brief one word answers.  
  
Taking a deep breath, Draco stepped up. The coffin hovered slightly above the earth, and he watched it silently for a moment. There were no tears behind his eyes, but there was a great ache inside his heart. Watching his best friend being lowered forever into the ground, Draco waited until the box was all the way down to the bottom before he paid his respects.  
  
Holding a handful of pink rose petals in his hand, he released them into the gap in the ground and watched them flutter prettily to rest on top of the casket. Lifting his hand to his necklace, he closed his eyes and whispered to the silent graveyard, "Goodbye, Perseus."  
  
His other hand rose shakily to his lips, and he kissed his fingers lightly before blowing the kiss down to the boy's coffin as the girl had done. His hand slowly fell to his side as he felt a part of him leaving his body, as though a section of his heart was going to join Perseus in the afterlife.  
  
Opening his eyes, he clenched his fists and promised his friend he'd always remember him, and would never forget their friendship. He knew that behind the lid, Perseus was lying with a gold necklace identical to Draco's resting upon his lifeless chest. The memory necklaces.  
  
Somehow Draco didn't think he'd need a necklace to remember his best friend. Even so, he made a pact with himself never to lose the necklace and to always wear it to honour Perseus's memory.  
  
His head turned slightly to the graveyard hall, where he knew the rest of the guests were eating and talking to each other. His father, Lucius, was standing outside the hall with a strange look on his face. Draco could not make out exactly what his father was feeling behind those cold grey eyes. With one last look at his best friend's grave, Draco turned from his father and the other mourners and walked away.  
  
Draco opened his eyes and found, to his surprise that remembering the occasion did not bring tears to his eyes, but rather intensified the ache in his chest that had been there since that night in late August. He didn't think that it could hurt any more than it already did. But he was still glad he'd not cried.  
  
Lucius had been sickening to be around for the rest of the holidays. Draco had spent as much time as possible locked away in his room or wandering about the streets where he lived, but could not escape his father the rest of the time.  
  
At meals, Lucius and Narcissa acted simply as though there was nothing wrong, and as though that night had never happened. Other times, though, Lucius would smile with satisfaction at Draco, as though telling his son not to cross him again.  
  
Draco's insides went cold every time his father smirked like that. He knew his father knew that Perseus was the closest thing to a brother, and the best friend, that Draco had ever had, and it froze his heart to know that his father would kill someone who meant so much to his only son.  
  
But then, it was for Voldemort that his father had killed Perseus anyway. Because Perseus and his father did not believe in Voldemort's ways. Pureblooded wizards that did not follow Voldemort were the first targets for Voldemort nowadays. And Lucius had lured Perseus there one night, and killed him...in front of Draco. The thought still turned his stomach.  
  
He knew his father would disapprove of his friendship with the boy. Draco had first found out Perseus's views of Voldemorts actions, which were not the same as Lucius and Draco stood for. And somehow, though Draco had managed to keep it a secret from his father for nearly five years, Lucius had found out. And informed Voldemort.  
  
That was why the murder had taken place.  
  
Because of a difference in views.  
  
And that was why Draco now felt so confused, because after realising what it felt like to lose someone he loved so much, he realised he did not want to become a Death Eater after all. He did not want to kill people simply because they thought or felt differently to someone else. He didn't want to kill anyone. And somehow, he felt changed inside.  
  
He thought he finally understood what Harry Potter felt like.  
  
But he sometimes thought he was luckier than Harry, because at least he'd gotten to know and love what a wonderful person Perseus was before he'd died.  
  
Harry had never really known his parents.  
  
But at least, Draco mused, Harry had never had to deal with the pain of the memories. Harry had no memories of his parents.  
  
And Draco had a whole lifetime of memories to remember.  
  
* * *  
  
As he sat alone in the dark and the quiet, the moon came out from behind the clouds. In the bright light of the half moon, he saw another figure standing close by him. It was the figure of a girl, who had not seemed to notice he was sitting almost right beside her.  
  
He watched her, and realised with a start that this was Delphine Winters. He recognised the shiny sheet of golden hair that flowed down past her shoulders. Although the moon was bright, he could not make out what her expression was. He saw her clenched hand, and for a split second, he thought he saw something gold flash at him from her palm before the girl turned silently and headed back to the castle.  
  
Draco wondered what that was all about.  
  
It was really starting to bug him. There was something uncannily familiar about that girl, and he didn't know why. She obviously had never met him before because he had a good memory for faces, and always remembered them, especially pretty ones like her.  
  
Shrugging it off, he sat back and watched the moon weave in and out of the clouds.  
  
He was starting to grow accustomed to being alone. Now that the only person he really cared about was gone, he knew he'd have to get used to it.  
  
Staring off into the distance, Draco smiled half-heartedly. Maybe Perseus could see him now, and was watching him. The thought comforted him. Maybe Perseus would always watch over him from wherever he was. Perhaps he was even Draco's guardian angel...As these beautiful thoughts flowed through Draco's mind, he found his spirit lifting slightly. Maybe Perseus wasn't as gone as he'd thought.  
  
Maybe.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
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	3. The Necklace and The Cemetary

Title: Lost in the Shadows  
  
Author: Stardrops  
  
Rating: G  
  
Genre: Angst/Romance  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Duh. And I should probably add that in a later chapter, the idea for the constellations and star spotting was borrowed from some of "Rigella"'s writing, which everyone should check out.  
  
Chapter Three: The Necklace and the Cemetery  
  
A week had passed since that night. Crabbe and Goyle had been starting to include him more in their activities of beating up younger students and pigging out on massive plates of food, whether it was mealtimes or not. Draco was finding it harder and harder to get away for some quiet time, but he managed in that Sunday.  
  
He was walking alongside the lake, and for once was not thinking about Perseus or that girl, but was just enjoying the summer afternoon. Crabbe and Goyle had been called to Dumbledore's office, and Draco took the opportunity to escape.  
  
There was a beautiful sunset beginning in the late afternoon as he walked. Several other students were enjoying the scenery as well, but no one tried to talk to Draco, much to his relief.  
  
His shoulders relaxed and some of the tension left him as he stood and breathed deeply the warm air. His eyes closed for a moment, and then as he turned, they opened again.  
  
A glint of gold caught his attention, lying in the grass a few feet away. Draco frowned and wandered over to it. Picking it up, he straightened to full height and froze as he got a good look at it.  
  
It was a necklace identical to his. Reaching quickly to his neck to make sure his own hadn't fallen off, he stared at it in wonder and with mounting excitement. The only other person in the world he knew with this necklace was Perseus. Maybe this meant Perseus was still alive!  
  
Draco's eyes widened as possibilities flowed through his mind. Maybe the person he'd watched his father murder was someone pretending to be Perseus, by means of the Polyjuice Potion or some other disguise. Maybe it was all a scam to make Voldemort think that Perseus was dead, when really, he was alive and healthy.  
  
For the first time since the funeral, Draco's heart lifted. Glancing around him, he saw no sign of Perseus anywhere near. That didn't matter though; this just meant that sometime in the past week, Perseus had been here, standing on this very spot!  
  
Draco was nearly shivering with excitement. He had to find him. Somewhere was the boy who Draco needed more than anything else in the whole world.  
  
Turning, he began to run towards the castle. He had to search every possible hiding place. Maybe Dumbledore knew! He'd go see Dumbledore...  
  
But he heard crying from the trees near the path where he currently was. Slowing to a stop, he waited for some other sign of life, but hearing none, he decided to continue on his way. He'd taken no more than one step when he heard a soft sob, one you would only hear if you were listening for it, and a little sniffle.  
  
Draco stepped from the path and walked towards the trees. Lying against one was the mystery girl. Draco stopped and watched her. She was fumbling with the grass, brushing leaves aside and letting tears fall from her cheeks.  
  
Frowning, Draco wondered what on earth she was doing. This was the strangest thing he'd ever seen. He had half a mind to leave her and keep going, Perseus was more important than this stranger, but there was some part of him that was like a magnet to this girl, and he had to know who she was and what she was doing.  
  
Draco sighed and agreed with his intuition. As long as this only took a few seconds, Perseus could wait.  
  
He trudged over and knelt beside the girl. She sat up with a gasp and looked at him with frightened eyes in her tearstained face.  
  
"What are you doing?" he asked her softly. She looked so frightened and vulnerable that even Draco felt his heart go out to her in a very un-Draco action.  
  
She sniffled again and fresh tears fell down her cheeks. "I-I lost something."  
  
Resuming what appeared to be a search for something in the grass, she elaborated, "I think I dropped a necklace around here somewhere last night."  
  
Draco's heart fell to his shoes. His insides were aching with disappointment as he realized his hope had been in vain. He mentally kicked himself as he scolded his mind for letting him think Perseus was still alive.  
  
Mutely, he handed the necklace to the girl. She stared at his open hand for a second before looking up at him again. She looked so grateful as she took the necklace, but Draco still felt let down.  
  
"Oh...thank you!" she whispered softly, doing up the clasp at the back. It rested over top of her Gryffindor robes.  
  
Brushing his immense disappointment aside, he asked, "Have we met before?"  
  
She looked at him for a long moment before answering. "I don't think so."  
  
Then something hit him. "Wait...how come you have that necklace?" he asked suddenly.  
  
She looked up at him, a bit curious as to his urgent tone. "My brother gave it to me when we were ten."  
  
Draco's head felt light. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.  
  
She smiled to herself and said softly, "He was my best friend, even though I rarely saw him. I loved him so much."  
  
Draco swallowed with difficulty and tried to speak. His voice came out hoarse and croaky. "W-what do you mean?"  
  
She looked at him in surprise.  
  
"I mean, you're talking about him like he's not your best friend anymore," Draco added.  
  
She looked down at the grass before scratching her nose and looking to the side. Evidently this was not a subject she felt comfortable touching with a complete stranger.  
  
"He's dead," she answered quietly. "He died this summer."  
  
Draco nearly fainted. "H-how?" he asked desperately.  
  
She looked at him as though worried about his sanity. "I don't know, I hadn't seen or heard from him for about two months."  
  
Draco tried for one last time to get the information he wanted. "What was his name?"  
  
She glanced at him nervously before replying. "Perseus."  
  
Draco's eyes filled with little black dots and he fainted.  
  
* * *  
  
Waking up to a nearly black sky, he saw the girl standing over him. She'd just splashed his face with cold water, and he sat up immediately.  
  
"Are you all right?" she asked with concern.  
  
He couldn't speak, he just stared at her. He couldn't believe this girl was the sister of his best friend.  
  
She was starting to look uncomfortable with his strange behavior. She averted her eyes and stammered, "M-maybe we should get you up to the castle?"  
  
Draco said nothing, but stood to his full height. He reached inside his robes and pulled out the necklace. Showing it to the girl, she froze. After several seconds of silence, she looked up at him with confusion. "What...?"  
  
He croaked out a reply. "I got it from my best friend when we were ten. His name was Perseus, and he died this summer."  
  
The girl gasped in shock and sat down quickly. Draco stood over her, watching her reaction.  
  
"He never mentioned that he had a sister."  
  
The girl looked up at him. "Y-you knew Perseus?" she asked again, completely shocked.  
  
He simply nodded. He didn't think his dry mouth would allow him to speak.  
  
"You were at the funeral?" she asked. "The one at the back?"  
  
He nodded again.  
  
"The one who waited until everyone else had gone before saying goodbye?"  
  
Draco looked down at his feet and nodded again.  
  
The girl stood up and did something totally unexpected. She wrapped her arms around him and gave him a huge hug.  
  
No one had ever hugged Draco like that, as though they were incredibly grateful for him existence. He hesitated for a moment, not quite knowing what to do, and then awkwardly placed his arms around her.  
  
She pulled away, and glanced up at him. "Would you come with me?"  
  
Draco hesitated again. "Where?"  
  
She smiled and took his hand. "To see him."  
  
Draco gasped. "How? We can't Apparate and we can't leave the school grounds!"  
  
The girl simply smiled and led him up to the castle. Whispering a few words to the portrait of Engel the Enormous, the portrait swung aside and allowed the two to enter. It was a secret passage that even the Weasley twins and the Marauders from the previous generation hadn't discovered.  
  
She led him along it until they came to a brick wall. Whispering another word and running her hand gently over it, the wall dissolved and she stepped though, pulling Draco along behind her.  
  
As Draco's eyes grew accustomed to the dark, he felt a little pang of sadness squeeze him inside, and he laid his eyes on the tombstone where he had stood only weeks before.  
  
The girl stood back and watched, almost as if to make sure he wasn't just playing with her, but Draco stepped up to the tombstone straight away. Kneeling beside it, he felt the girl come and sit next to him.  
  
She held her hand out to Draco. "Delphine Winters."  
  
He took it and shook it. "Draco Malfoy."  
  
As they released each other's hand, Draco frowned. "Hey, wait, if you're his sister, then why is your name Winters, and his was Summers?"  
  
Delphine smiled. "Matter of family secrecy."  
  
Draco looked utterly confused and she shook her head. "Long story," she said, and from the way she brushed it aside, Draco knew she didn't want to talk about it.  
  
He turned back to the tombstone and traced the letters gently with his finger. The fact that there was no flowers or any sign of people having come since the funeral made a lump grow at the back of Draco's throat again. Quickly, he whipped out his wand and muttered an incantation, producing a large bunch of blooming roses mixed with baby's breath and irises. He traced his wand in a rectangle around where the coffin lay beneath the earth, and the flowers rooted immediately to the ground, marking the outline of the concealed casket.  
  
Delphine smiled at him and pulled out her own wand, conjuring up little star shaped white flowers. Attaching them to the headstone, they shone like little white jewels, spread out across the headstone. The earth on top of the coffin was grassy and fake, so with a flick of his wand, Draco vanished it and replaced it with glittering pebbles and rose petals.  
  
Delphine drew in a quick breath, looking at the grave. It now looked absolutely beautiful, and she felt prickling behind her eyes, warning her that tears would fall soon if she wasn't careful. She glanced once more at Draco, wondering if he was for real.  
  
Looking at him trace the letters of Perseus's name, Delphine thought yes for the moment. She'd talk to him and try to get the story of Perseus from the boy later, but right now, all that mattered was that there was someone else in the world who cared about Perseus, or who seemed to at least.  
  
Draco was unaware of Delphine quietly examining him. He was remembering everything about the funeral, including the singer. He turned to Delphine once more.  
  
"You sang at the funeral, didn't you?"  
  
She nodded, and sighed. "It was his favourite song."  
  
Draco looked back at the tombstone, and then looked up at the sky. The brilliant stars shone brightly, illuminating every grave in the yard.  
  
Draco wondered if Perseus could see him. He suddenly realized he was glad he'd met this girl. He knew he wasn't the only one who cared about Perseus now. And for once, there was someone who knew almost exactly how he felt.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Okay...another chapter done. Now PLEASE review it. Reviews = Updates, and they make me feel happy too * grins *  
  
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	4. The Real Draco

Title: Lost in the Shadows  
  
Author: Stardrops  
  
Rating: G  
  
Genre: Angst/Romance  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Duh. And I should probably add that in a later chapter, the idea for the constellations and star spotting was borrowed from some of "Rigella"'s writing, which everyone should check out.  
  
Chapter Four: The Real Draco  
  
It was the first time since that night Perseus had died that Draco could talk about his demise.  
  
The dark night surrounded the pair who sat on either side of the grave now so attractively decorated. An occasional hoot from owls perched on the trees disturbed the otherwise peaceful night.  
  
Any stars and moonlight that had dared to show their radiance were covered by cloud now. Shadows moved across the yard as the moon occasionally fought to show itself, but otherwise, the pair was in very dim light. They could only just make out each other's outlines, and could not see expressions at all, except for the moments when the light shone through the clouds.  
  
Delphine still couldn't believe there was someone in Hogwarts who knew Perseus as well. A soft coughing noise came from the side where Draco sat.  
  
"So...why are you at Hogwarts now?" Draco asked quietly. Delphine did not answer straight away, and Draco hastened to add, "I mean, you don't have to say or anything, I just wondered why you had come from overseas to go to school here."  
  
Delphine ignored the voice inside her head telling her not to tell him. She didn't see what harm this innocent boy could do.  
  
"Well," she started slowly, "I used to live in Australia." Draco made a slight noise of surprise at this. She laughed thoughtfully. "Yeah, I went to a magic school there. I was living with my mother."  
  
Draco was still completely confused. "Wait, so...why did you live in Australia with your mother if Perseus lived here with your father?"  
  
"Because my parents had to separate."  
  
Draco made a sympathetic noise. "I'm sorry."  
  
Delphine took a sharp breath before going on. "Oh, no, they aren't divorcing or anything, its to do with the Voldemort thing."  
  
Draco stiffened at the sound of Voldemort's name, and Delphine could feel him tensing through the darkness. "What's wrong?" she asked.  
  
Warning himself to calm down, he quickly replied, "Nothing."  
  
Delphine wasn't entirely convinced, but she let it go for the time being. "What about you? How did you know Perseus?"  
  
A smile crept across Draco's face.  
  
"His father worked at the Ministry, and was once involved in a case that my father helped out with. They became friends, and when Perseus was born, our fathers introduced us, so we were friends straight away."  
  
"How old are you?" Delphine asked.  
  
"I'm sixteen. I'll be turning seventeen in April."  
  
Delphine nodded slowly. "So you were about a month older than Perseus?"  
  
"Three weeks."  
  
Delphine hesitated for a fraction of a second before asking, "D-do you mind if I ask you something?"  
  
"Wow, sounds serious."  
  
Delphine nodded.  
  
"Sure, go ahead."  
  
She took a deep breath. "D-do you know how...well...how...how he died?"  
  
If she thought Draco tensed up before, it was nothing to now.  
  
"Why would you assume I knew something about it?" he asked roughly.  
  
Delphine was taken aback. "I-I just hoped that as his best friend, you might know...no one else seems to know. Even the Ministry just told us that his body was found a short distance from the station. They thought someone had used Unforgivables on him."  
  
Draco put his head in his hands. This was going to be painful. Although, he reasoned with himself, he didn't have to tell her. He could pretend not to know.  
  
But when she found out, she'd know he'd lied to her. Draco hated the thought of lying to the only person who understood him. More than that, though, it was the thought that she was Perseus's closest confidant, (apart from Draco), and she did not know the truth about his death.  
  
So Draco agreed with himself to tell her.  
  
He took a deep breath and lifted his head to stare silently into the center of the graveyard. Delphine could see his expression as the moon peeked out for a moment. It was guarded and closed off, dead looking. Delphine shuddered. She'd never seen anyone look so shielded. It was as if he knew something dreadful, and didn't want to tell anyone.  
  
She was so close to the truth.  
  
"Draco?" she asked as gently as she could.  
  
He started as though he'd forgotten he wasn't alone, and then the guarded grey eyes turned to her. The moonlight picked up the urgency on Delphine's face.  
  
He started to speak, but was cut off by a roll of thunder a fair distance away. Delphine looked up at the clouds, blocking out the moon once more.  
  
"Do you think it'll rain?" she asked Draco. He shrugged, disinterested.  
  
They sat silently for a few more moments, and then Draco began to talk again.  
  
"He died in my house."  
  
Delphine looked at him in surprise, though she could only see his figure, hunched over and holding his head in his hands again.  
  
"My father killed him."  
  
A gasp escaped unbidden from her mouth. Clapping a hand over it, she waited in shock for him to continue. He did.  
  
"I was in my room, reading. I heard his voice downstairs, so I went down to say hello. And then I heard him screaming." Draco's voice broke and he stopped talking for a bit, trying to keep control of his emotions.  
  
When he was once more able to go on, he continued.  
  
"I ran into the kitchen to see what was going on, and I saw him curled up on the floor twitching as my father stood over him, laughing and pointing a wand at his heart. I knew right away that my father had found out about him, and I tried to stop my father killing him. But..." Draco's voice trailed off.  
  
"But?" Delphine urged.  
  
His voice was more lifeless than before when he uttered the next few sentences.  
  
"My father used Avada Kedavra on him. He killed him in front of me." Draco held his left hand out to Delphine. She ran a finger lightly over the raised skin on the back of his hand, the scar. "That's the burn I got for lunging at my father, knocking him to the ground, and forcing my fathers wand to point elsewhere."  
  
Silence filled the yard as Delphine digested these astonishing facts. She couldn't help feeling warmth towards this boy for what trying to save her brother. She could tell by his expression that he wished he'd been able to do more, and she did not blame him in the least for the death. Not for a moment did she doubt his story, because she knew no one would be able to lie about something this personal and deep.  
  
"What happened then?" she asked warily, aware that this was a touchy subject for him as well as for her.  
  
He sighed tonelessly. "My father threw me off him and threatened me with the Cruciatus curse if I did it again. By then, Perseus lay quivering on the ground, too weak to get up. My father had taken his strength away. He couldn't even get up and run!" Draco clenched his fists angrily at the memory. "And then my father killed him."  
  
"Why?" Delphine asked before she could stop herself. She hung her head at once. "No, you don't have to answer that."  
  
Draco answered as though he hadn't heard the second part. A rumble of thunder boomed from the sky above as he felt the first sprinkles of water falling down on their heads.  
  
"Voldemort told him to." He gave a mirthless laugh. "And when Voldemort tells you to do something, you don't refuse him."  
  
He felt tears coming from behind his eyes. Hearing movement in the darkness, he both heard and felt Delphine walking around to come and sit beside him. Blinking madly to stop tears from falling, he turned his head to face her. Her expression was hidden by the growing darkness.  
  
"He just lay there, with this horribly blank look on his face. There was no chance of him coming back. He was dead."  
  
A flash of lightning forked across the sky. The sudden light lit up Delphine's face, and Draco knew at once that she believed him and didn't blame him for anything. His heart gave a sudden throb, causing him to clutch his chest and gasp for air.  
  
Delphine saw his face also in the split second of white lighting the sky. His face was no longer blank, but rather filled with emotion, and she could sense tears behind the shakes in his voice.  
  
She put her arms around him as tears began to fall from her eyes, and he held her close to him as he let go his pain. Rain began to shower gently from the sky, tenderly hitting the ground around them and soaking their clothing within minutes.  
  
His body convulsed as the pain was released. Shuddering, he felt throbbing from places inside him he didn't know could hurt so. Twinges came inside his temples, a sure sign that he would soon be surrounded by waves in an ocean of bottled up aches. He gasped before becoming consumed by the powerful waves of emotion overwhelming him. A range of feelings raged through him before the first tears dropped.  
  
Then his heart began to open, pouring all the hate and hurt from the summer into his blood. Feelings surged through his veins from his toes to his brain, and as it engulfed him, he couldn't help being glad that he was here, with Delphine, instead of back at school alone.  
  
Draco's body racked with sobs as he clutched Delphine to him. The first tears he'd cried since the murder. Every drop that fell was a shard of the bottled pain he'd felt since watching his father do such a terrible thing. His hair was soaked as he sat holding her.  
  
Delphine also was crying, though not as much as Draco. She'd cried more in the past week when she'd been alone. Wondering if Draco had ever cried about it before tonight, she tightened her hold on the thin frame of the boy. He felt weak and too thin, like her. She wondered if he'd also not eaten much since he'd watched the slaughter. Judging by the slim skeleton she touched, she guessed he hadn't eaten much at all.  
  
Draco felt himself go limp on her as he poured out all his emotion. It was hurting him so much to let anyone see him cry, but this felt somehow like fate had intended it to happen, as though it had wanted him to mourn with someone else who cared as much as he.  
  
For so long, the two sat in the rain holding each other and at last, in the very early hours of the morning, they fell fast asleep on the wet grass.  
  
* * *  
  
Draco woke the next morning on a very wet surface. Rolling over, he wondered why his bed had suddenly seemed to have turn to a damp, cold surface, like an ice rink. Seeing a sleeping Delphine next to him, he remembered the previous night, and why he was where he was.  
  
Sitting up very suddenly, he shook himself wide-awake. The decorations they'd beautified the grave with were still there. He looked over at Delphine again before rising to his feet and creeping as quietly as he could the way he remembered coming. Being here in daylight was too painful to imagine. As he began to move silently away, he looked back at Perseus's headstone. The vision of Perseus's face burned into his eyes until he closed them and let himself watch the image. When he opened his eyes, the image was still there in front of him, now completed with a body. Perseus was standing in front of him.  
  
Draco reached out to trace the curves of that beautiful face and to once more touch the most influential person in his life. But even as his trembling hand reached out to touch the figure in front of him, it slowly weakened to become ghostlike and transparent.  
  
His hand floated straight through the misty figure without feeling anything. And as Draco watched with saddened eyes, the vision faded away completely.  
  
His insides flushed with cold and his heart seemed to freeze over as it did every time he thought about his best friend. Shaking his head, he began to run. He couldn't bear the pain any longer, he had to get back to the school and be distracted again.  
  
"Draco?" he heard a sleepy voice say behind him. Delphine had woken. He slowed as he looked over his shoulder at her. She rose quickly and took a step towards him. "Draco, where are you going?" she called. He quickened his pace and ran all the way out of the cemetery.  
  
Before entering the secret tunnel that would lead him back to the school, he turned once more and looked back at Delphine. She was running as well, though not nearly as fast as Draco had managed to sprint. She stopped a few metres away from him, as his deadened gaze was laid bare on her. It chilled her to the bone as he stared at her with such a dull expression after she'd seen so much pain and beauty in those soulful grey eyes the previous night.  
  
She stood and watched him leave. But even he couldn't disguise the single tear that ran down his cheek before he disappeared into the tunnel, lost from view. And Delphine herself couldn't help shedding a tear for the boy who had so much locked inside that no one ever saw.  
  
She realized that this was not the boy Hermione and Harry had talked about, not Draco Malfoy.  
  
The boy she'd met and shared such a special moment with was someone more expressive, innocent and sensitive than the asshole they always talked about. He was a boy with secrets hidden so they could remain secret from the world, someone who hid his beautiful eyes and soul from the rest of the world because he was too frightened to show himself for what he really was.  
  
That was the real Draco.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
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	5. Destroyed

Title: Lost in the Shadows  
  
Author: Stardrops  
  
Rating: G  
  
Genre: Angst/Romance  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Duh. And I should probably add that in a later chapter, the idea for the constellations and star spotting was borrowed from some of "Rigella"'s writing, which everyone should check out.  
  
Chapter Five: Destroyed  
  
Several days had passed since the night Draco and Delphine had spent in the cemetery together. Draco had passed Delphine in the corridors and in class, but hadn't really felt like having a conversation. Luckily for him, Delphine simply smiled at him as he passed and allowed him his solitude.  
  
He'd left Crabbe and Goyle in the Great Hall at lunch one day while he marched off to the Slytherin common room to retrieve his things for the next class. As he walked briskly down the hall, he heard voices coming from around the corner. His heart sank slightly. Just the people he didn't want to meet. Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger were coming towards him. As he watched, Neville Longbottom ran up behind them to join their conversation.  
  
When they saw Malfoy, the four Gryffindors looked awkwardly at each other before Draco nodded coldly at them and slipped past. He'd had no nasty comments to throw at them this year, not since he'd begun to feel respect for Potter, and had met Delphine, their fellow Gryffindor. He decided his safest action would be to walk past them without causing a scene. He didn't think he had the energy to make one today.  
  
Ron and Harry looked at each other in surprise when Draco offered no slimy insults. This would have been the perfect opportunity for some major insults. What was going on? Hermione just looked at her shoes, quieter and for some reason, looking with an unreadable expression towards Draco. Neville just glared at him, clearly itching to get revenge for all the times that Draco had gotten one over him.  
  
The opportunity for their revenge came almost at that moment. As Draco slipped past, Ron took the chance to slightly bar his way so he was forced to suck in his stomach in order to move past. His book bag got caught on a statue of Urg the Ugly and ripped slightly. Draco was impatient to get past these people, so he pulled with all his might. Ron could not resist such an easy target, and his foot slipped out at that moment, tripping Draco. The bag fell apart completely, and Draco fell to the floor, his blonde hair flopping untidily all over the place, and his books all stained with ink.  
  
Draco groaned as he tried to get up. The echoes of laughter from Ron and Neville were so loud, and he longed to turn around and punch them both out. Harry was grinning, but was evidently trying to be civil around him as they were all in the seventh year. Hermione looked as though she was struggling not to help him pick up his books, and he wondered why she was suddenly being so nice, and looking at him like he was a worthy piece of society instead of the piece of crap she usually referred to him as.  
  
Draco scowled at them and began to gather his books together. Everything he'd needed for the previous classes was now permanently blue and red tinged. He glowered at the ink stains and gathered the quills. Then the hushed voice of Neville came over him.  
  
"Oh, Malfoy..." he said in a singsong voice. Draco looked up and in horror, realized that the boy was holding a long piece of parchment...it was the last letter he'd gotten from Perseus. Draco had adorned the parchment since with decorations, and had attached the moving photo of himself and Perseus at his twelfth birthday party. But the thing that froze Draco the most was that the boy wasn't only holding that letter, he was also holding the book it had slipped out of. The scrapbook he'd created during the days since the night in the cemetery, with memories of himself and Perseus.  
  
Draco nearly screamed. He mentally kicked himself for keeping the book in his bag; it should have been in his dormitory with a lock on the drawer. He'd taken it with him today because he'd felt like keeping it close to him for some reason. He'd not been feeling great these past few days.  
  
Rising to his feet, he tried to keep his voice steady. "Give that here, Longbottom." He held out his hand and added a more menacing tone to his voice. "I mean it Longbottom, give it back."  
  
"Guys..." Hermione muttered, reaching out for the book, "give it back to him."  
  
Ron snorted with laughter. "After all the crap this git has given us? I think not."  
  
Draco was reminded of their second year, when something remarkably similar had happened between himself and Harry. The difference between that situation and this one was that it had not been Harry's diary, but a diary Draco's father had slipped Ginny Weasley at the beginning of the school year.  
  
"Look, just give it - no!" Draco shouted angrily.  
  
Neville tossed the book gleefully to Ron. Draco jumped to grab it out of the air, but his fingers only brushed the spine as the book sailed past. Now Weasley had the book, and was opening it. Draco's temper flared and he lunged for him. Ron chucked the book back and Neville, who missed it. The book was headed straight for a flaming torch that lit the hallway. Draco watched as it closed the distance between itself and the fire. Completely helpless, he stood motionless as the book passed through the flames and began to burn.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he yelled. Tears sprang into his eyes, and Neville, Ron, Harry and Hermione all took a step back, Ron looking slightly ashamed at having burnt the precious possession, though he did not know what it was. Draco ran for the book, but even as he reached it, the book curled up into ashes and fell to the floor.  
  
Draco sank to the floor and fingered the ashes. All the memories he had left, the photos, the letters, and the place where he'd written his feelings about Perseus's death...burnt to dust.  
  
He lowered his head into his hands, and rubbed his eyes vigorously. This was not happening. This was not happening...remembering that Harry, Neville, Hermione and Ron all stood behind him gawking, he turned to stare at them.  
  
Harry's face was shocked but looking as though he secretly thought Draco deserved to have people pick on him after the hell he put other students through. Ron looked embarrassed, but also secretly delighted at getting one over Malfoy after everything Malfoy had put him through. Neville simply looked as though he couldn't believe he had finally done what he'd been itching to do for several years. But Hermione looked like he was going to cry. Her eyes were red and glassy with unshed tears, and she clasped a hand over her mouth.  
  
"Malfoy..." she began, but Draco had had it. He got up and ran as though his life depended on it. But before he'd taken three steps, he was forced to halt for fear he'd knock the breath out of Delphine. She was walking towards them, looking in confusion at the piles of parchment and quills and the scattered possessions on the floor, and at the guilty expressions on the Gryffindor faces. Looking at last at Draco, she asked, "Draco, what's wrong?"  
  
Ron's face was incredulous, and everyone heard him whisper in amazement, "Draco?" But everyone ignored him.  
  
Draco simply looked back at the Gryffindors before continuing his escape down the corridor. Everyone watched him leave, and then Delphine turned back to the others.  
  
"Okay...what in the world just happened?"  
  
Hermione stepped up to the mess on the floor and began to clean it up. She gathered Draco's belongings, fixed the bag with a whispered incantation, and gathered the ashes of the book, dropping them into a little box she carried in her bag, hoping no one saw. No one did. The boys were busy trying to explain to Delphine.  
  
"He had..." Neville stammered.  
  
"It wasn't as though..." Ron interrupted.  
  
"He did kind of deserve it..." Neville continued. Harry just stood back and hung his head as the full weight of what they'd done hit him.  
  
Delphine just looked at them.  
  
"You stood back and let someone's personal possessions be destroyed?' she said quietly. "No, worse, you destroyed them?"  
  
"Well, he...he had it coming," Neville stated defiantly. But his resolution crumbled beneath Delphine's quiet yet unnerving stare.  
  
"You think someone really deserves to have anything they love destroyed?" Delphine asked him.  
  
"Well, what about all the times he's taken our stuff, and paid us out, and been a downright prick?" Neville countered.  
  
Delphine smiled grimly. "But has he ever damaged anything of yours? Has he ever taken something and not given it back, even if it was only because he was forced to by a teacher?"  
  
A silence met these words as Neville and Ron scrambled around in their thoughts trying to come up with something to slam back at the question. Finding nothing, their guilt was starting to make them feel sick.  
  
"It was only an accident," Ron mumbled.  
  
Hermione rolled her eyes. "An accident that you and Neville caused, he did nothing to even start the thing! If you hadn't tripped him in the first place, none of it would have happened."  
  
The realization hit Ron. Even when he'd tripped up Malfoy, he hadn't fought back. He'd simply groaned and then tried to clear up his belongings. And he hadn't tried to hex them like he normally would have...  
  
Harry looked up at last. "What was it?" he asked Delphine. She turned her relentless stare to him. He did not flinch, but stared straight back at her, pleading with her to help him understand this better.  
  
"I don't know." Delphine averted her gaze to Hermione. "Hermione, what are you doing?"  
  
"Getting his things," she answered. Her eyes were almost back to normal, but she had a slightly glassy look in her eyes, as though she had not yet quite reached normalcy after tears had threatened her dignity.  
  
Delphine reached out to take his things, but Hermione drew back. "Could I take them to him?" she asked.  
  
Delphine raised an eyebrow at Hermione, and when Hermione met her stare, the two seemed to have a conversation without talking. Delphine at last nodded after about three minutes of telepathic conversation, and Hermione took off down the hallway.  
  
Ron, Harry and Neville were thoroughly confused. "What the hell? Why is Hermione going to give him his things? She hates him, and he hates her." Ron's face was utterly bewildered.  
  
Harry turned to Neville and asked, "Does he seem different to you?"  
  
Neville gave Ron the once over and then looked back at Harry and replied, "No."  
  
Harry smacked the side of his head and then glared at Neville. "Not Ron, you imbecile, Malfoy."  
  
Neville started to answer, but Ron interrupted. "Did anyone else notice that he didn't try to fight us at any point?"  
  
Delphine was smiling softly. The three boys looked to her for answers. She offered none.  
  
"Are you going to tell us what's going on?" Neville asked.  
  
"No," she replied simply. "You'll have to go and ask him that yourselves. You started this, you can finish it."  
  
Ron groaned. "God, no, you aren't expecting me to go and apologise to him are you?"  
  
Delphine fixed him with her stare. "Why wouldn't you?"  
  
Ron pretended to think. "Hmm, maybe because every single time we've run into him before, he's offered some smart arse comment about my family or Harry's parents?"  
  
Delphine shook her head. "But has he offered any smart arse comments this year? Since the summer?"  
  
The three boys thought for a moment and then shook their heads. "No," Harry answered softly.  
  
Delphine nodded. "There's your answer."  
  
If the three boys had been feeling guilty before, it was nothing to how they felt right now. They knew that Delphine knew something she wasn't telling them, and something told them that Hermione knew something as well. It was all very strange.  
  
Harry took Ron's arm and began to walk with him towards the Gryffindor common room. Delphine started off towards the Slytherin common room when Hermione had gone. Neville quickly joined the boys, glad to be out of Delphine's guilt inducing stare.  
  
But before they went inside, Harry turned to look back at Delphine. "Hey, Delphine!"  
  
She turned and waited.  
  
"Um...do you think he'll listen if we go and apologise?" he asked.  
  
She paused and thought for a moment. "Would you listen to him apologise to you if he did the same to you?"  
  
Harry felt the sickened feeling in his stomach deepen as he realized that no, he wouldn't. Delphine gave him a knowing smile and continued on her way. Harry and Ron exchanged a glance.  
  
"What the bloody hell is going on?" Ron said, immensely rattled.  
  
"I don't know any more than you do, Ron," Harry replied.  
  
"The girls know something," Neville pointed out.  
  
Harry snorted. "They're not going to tell us."  
  
"Hermione will." Ron didn't look very sure of himself as he stated this.  
  
"How do you know?" Neville asked him.  
  
Ron sighed and scratched his chin. "I guess I don't."  
  
Harry looked back down the hall where both girls and Malfoy had disappeared. "I wonder what's changed him." 


	6. Attempting To Mend

Title: Lost in the Shadows  
  
Author: Stardrops  
  
Rating: G  
  
Genre: Angst/Romance  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Duh. And I should probably add that in a later chapter, the idea for the constellations and star spotting was borrowed from some of "Rigella"'s writing, which everyone should check out.  
  
Chapter 6: Attempting To Mend  
  
Hermione walked as briskly as her legs would allow without actually running. She could not believe what she had just witnessed. Poor Draco. She didn't know what the book was, but she knew what it had to do with. The same misery that had plagued Draco since school began. Harry and Ron couldn't have known. But she'd found out, and she'd begun to realize that Draco was a human being. He had feelings as well, and not just of contempt and derision. He felt pain and hurt just as much as she did. And although none of his cronies around him seemed to notice, Hermione certainly did. And it seemed that she wasn't the only one.  
  
"Hermione!" came a soft shout from behind her, as though the person calling was trying not to be heard by anyone else lurking in the dark of the Slytherin corridors.  
  
Hermione turned to see Delphine running towards her. Delphine had a look of concern on her face, and she could tell that Hermione was feeling awful about what happened.  
  
"Look, whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, was it?" Delphine asked.  
  
Hermione looked down at her feet. "It wasn't directly, but I could have tried harder to stop them. I knew it was something important, and yet all I did was stand there and ask them to stop. I could have reached out and caught it." Hermione's faced was swathed in guilt.  
  
Delphine reached out to touch a hand to her new friend's shoulder. "Hey, look. It wasn't your fault. I'm sure he noticed what you were trying to do."  
  
Hermione looked at her. "That doesn't matter to me. Well, not really. But I really hope the boys try to mend everything."  
  
Delphine smiled weakly. "Draco won't accept anything from them for a while yet."  
  
Hermione nodded, she knew this was true. And if it had been her, she would have been exactly the same.  
  
Delphine led Hermione down past the Slytherin common room into a small dead end corridor no one ever went down or, for that matter, even noticed. Sitting on a plain wooden stool only a small distance from the floor, fingering the ashes of what had been his prized memory collection was Draco Malfoy.  
  
Hermione shivered when she saw his expression. It couldn't be natural for one person's face to be so blank. In the pale light leaking through a c was eerie.  
  
"What do you want?" he asked flatly.  
  
Delphine stood back and watched. Hermione swallowed and held out the book bag she'd magically mended. The inkbottles had been repaired, but nothing could get rid of the bright stains covering the bag.  
  
Draco stared at it for a moment and then said expressionlessly, "Thank you."  
  
Hermione took a breath and said, "Look, Malfoy, I'm really sorry about what happened before."  
  
Draco's dull eyes turned to set on her for a moment as though measuring up her sincerity before turning away again, staring at the wall. "What are you apologizing for?"  
  
Hermione squirmed and looked at Delphine for support. Delphine shrugged.  
  
"Well, they are my friends – and – I guess I just felt responsible for what they did."  
  
Draco shot her a withering glare. "You didn't do anything, so don't apologize. And don't you dare feel sympathetic. I don't want your pity. If Potter and Weasley have something to say to me, they can come and say it. I don't want to see their little 'messenger' who claims to feel sorry for me."  
  
Hermione was taken aback. Even the old Draco was never this cold. "Well, I – I didn't actually get asked by them to come, I just came to see if you were okay."  
  
Draco glared and set his feet down sharply on the floor, causing a bang that resounded in the corridor. "Well bugger off then. I told you not to feel sorry for me. And don't even think about trying to persuade Potter and Weasel to come and say they're sorry. They aren't sorry. And even if they were, I wouldn't want to hear it. Just piss off, the lot of you. I hate you."  
  
The last three words echoed quietly in the silent corridor, giving a spooky feel to the moment. Hermione nodded and simply said, "I'm still sorry." She turned and walked as fast as she could away from Draco, before he could reply.  
  
Delphine looked at Draco. His face was blank, but his eyes were alive with cold fury. He was staring at her.  
  
"Don't look at me like that," he growled. "She didn't come to say sorry, she came to make sure she wouldn't have to feel guilty because her stupid friends are complete arseholes."  
  
Delphine shook her head vigorously. "No, she did come to say sorry! And Harry and Ron would have as well, except I think they realize you don't want to see them."  
  
Draco smirked dryly. "Well, I hope they stay far away from me. The last thing I want is to see their ugly, pathetic faces right now."  
  
"I'm sure they really didn't mean to upset you," Delphine trailed off, knowing this was a pathetic argument.  
  
"What?" Draco couldn't believe she'd said it. "They took a book off me, when I hadn't done anything to them, and burnt it to ashes. Don't tell me they didn't frigging mean to upset me."  
  
"It was an accident though, wasn't it?"  
  
"Yeah, probably, but who cares? They attacked me, I did nothing to them. I didn't even give them a reason to trip me up, much less a reason to destroy my things."  
  
Delphine reached out a hand to him. "You've got a right to be angry, Draco. Just don't be such a prat to Hermione. She was only trying to help."  
  
Draco's temper flared, and he swung out his hand, knocking her wrist as hard as he could. She recoiled and stared at him, slightly afraid.  
  
"Don't even try to tell me what to do! You came into my life pretending to be some sort of perfect, all-knowing person I could pour my heart out to. What about you? When have you ever told me anything about yourself?" Draco said icily.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, I told you about Perseus, about my father, about my home and about me. I know crap-all about you. Did you only pretend to befriend me so you'd find out the dirt about the situation in which your brother was killed?"  
  
"Don't you dare mention him like that," Delphine said coldly.  
  
"Why not? You weren't there. You had no bloody idea what happened, what went on. That's it isn't it? You didn't want me as a friend, you wanted the information, and now you're siding with the Perfect Potter Gang. Well, screw you."  
  
"I never used you. Did you even want to know anything about me?"  
  
"Well, duh! God you can be thick sometimes. Why don't you tell me something true about the perfect martyr that is Delphine Winters?"  
  
"Why the hell should I?" Delphine replied angrily. "You really are a dickhead sometimes Draco."  
  
"The only reason you came to me was because you wanted information on how your brother died!" Draco yelled.  
  
"He was important to me. And unless I'm really mistaken, you came to me, not the other way around!" Delphine's face started to go pink with suppressed rage. "I did not use you, whatever you might think. I cared about you because you looked so fragile!"  
  
"Do you seriously think I can't take care of myself?" Draco said incredulously. "I would have been fine if I'd never met you. You were simply a bonus."  
  
"Well fine then! If you don't need me, I'll just bugger off out of your life forever!" she yelled. "It's not like you made a difference to me anyway!"  
  
"I thought you were a sort of fairytale character who never did anything wrong, never said the wrong thing, who knew exactly what everyone was thinking and feeling. But you're as much human as the next person. Like it or not, you are just like everyone else!" Draco retaliated.  
  
"Then I guess that is one thing we have in common. You were so stuck-up, thinking you were better than everyone else!"  
  
"That is another thing we had in common then. Want to know how you acted back when you were first here? Some bloody perfectionist who had absolutely no bloody idea what she was going on about, but trying to act like she was better than everyone else. You didn't want to help me." Draco got up and walked along the corridor. He hadn't gotten a few steps before Delphine's voice rang out again.  
  
"So what do you want me to do now then? Shall I pretend I never met you? Shall I ignore you? What?"  
  
Draco turned a blazing stare her way. "Do whatever you want. I so don't care anymore."  
  
She came up to face him and stood, only a few centimeters shorter than he was, staring straight into his eyes. "You really want me to bugger off? You seriously want to throw away the only connection we have simply because you're in a shit with Harry and Ron?"  
  
"Potter and Weasley can go screw themselves for all I care."  
  
"Then why are you pissed off at me?" Delphine exclaimed.  
  
"Because you're a – just – I don't care, all right?" Draco yelled.  
  
"You hate me because I defended Harry, Hermione and Ron? I am allowed to have friends other than you, you realize!" Delphine yelled back.  
  
"I don't give a crap who you're friends with."  
  
"Then what? What the hell is wrong with you then?"  
  
"You're the all mighty, all knowing one. Why do you think?"  
  
"I don't bloody well know, if I did, do you honestly think I'd be asking?"  
  
"Bloody hell!" Draco bellowed. Delphine stood defiantly in front of him. This argument was the first sign of proper emotion he'd ever seen her show, and that was a comfort to know she was a real person.  
  
She was staring at him with determined stubbornness evident in her expression. "Go on. Tell me the truth. What do you really think of me?"  
  
Draco knew he was being unfair, taking his anger out on her. He shrugged half-heartedly and said dully, "Look, let's just stop this before we say things we regret."  
  
"Bit late for that, isn't it?" Delphine replied bitterly. "Don't try to change the subject, just tell me the truth. Am I really a stuck up bitch, am I a know-it all or what?"  
  
Draco shrugged again. "I don't know."  
  
"Then why the hell are you going off at me for being some martyr?"  
  
"Look, I'm sorry, all right?" Draco wiped his hand across his eyebrow. "Just drop it."  
  
Her eyes blazed. "I am trying as hard as I freaking well can to fit in at this damn school, and you tell me I'm some weird person who tries too hard? Is that what I am then? A tryhard?" She walked forward angrily, looking slightly violent.  
  
"Um – well – err -" Draco stuttered.  
  
She dropped her fists dejectedly. "I really am a freak then. My friends are too polite to tell me to piss off, and when one does, they are too afraid to tell me why. I really alienate people."  
  
She started to walk away from Draco, and Draco felt something he'd never really had the chance to in his life before. He was feeling compassion for someone other than himself.  
  
He reached out and grabbed her shoulder, whirling her around and pulling her in close to him. He could see unshed tears in her eyes as he held her close against his chest, trying to stop her trembling.  
  
"Just tell me. Honestly, no lies. Please." Delphine was sounding desperate.  
  
Draco brushed a few strands of hair away from her face and looked at her. "Do you really want to know?"  
  
She never got the chance to answer this question. Her eyes met Draco's before fluttering shut as he gently touched his lips to hers.  
  
TBC  
  
A/N: Awwww, aren't they cute? I'm trying to make her seem less perfect because I had a complaint from someone that she seemed too stereotypical. Any advice on how to continue making her normal would be greatly appreciated! 


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